There are countless message boards wherein at least one person attests that you’re in a good marriage if you never fight, or you always agree with each other no matter what. To those that say looks don't matter when dating I am not buying it. There was a hope in her mother's eyes that they would like my daughter and there was a wave of happiness ran inside her because she was expecting that today no one would reject her.But when these women come out of the door and said to her mother that we don't like your daughter, her color is black,she Is overweight, his nose is crooked. Sophia has seen first-hand that looks do matter to a couple long-term. Does it matter? Looks do matter, though they should not be the only factor we are looking at when choosing who to date. Ask British Asians what they ‘look’ for in their potential partner and the answers gear towards the type of job they have, their income, their family background and religious beliefs. Consider the characteristics that are often considered desirable in a mate—a sense of humor, intelligence, kindness, understanding, a family orientation, good … 05-05-2008, 12:54 PM Ladywithafan : Location: Southwest Florida. Indrajit speaks of his own situation. They have bought into the programming that looks are only a minor issue in their dating life, one that “game” can easily overcome. In our society this work is happening very much and girls are being rejected very much. Adultery is not relevant and cannot be used against you. Their approach to this matter is featured in a Growthtrac.com article, which was gleaned from their book, Does This Dress Make Me Look Fat? It ultimately ruined two lives for the sake of staying together. A Man’s Guide to the Loaded Questions Women Ask . Indeed, people these days are so pathetic and unbelievable because of this weird behavior but we shall only believe in God and hope for better tomorrow. During the rishta process, it is often common for a boy and girl to rely on looks alone at their first meeting. So its been 2 years now that I have started looking myself for arrange marriage, talking with girls, parents through news paper matrimonial ads, matrimonial websites etc etc. It does not mean that girls are rejected because of black color. No just heart look is matter in marriage we should firstly understand our partners but  I always prefer love marriage bcz In love marriages individuals choose partners on their own while in case of arranged marriages partners are being chosen by the family  It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences be it love marriage or an arranged one. Doesn't it take longer than four years to realize you are married to someone whose face has now been consumed by their neck and whose nose is either much larger than was originally presented or has now started to sprout acres of nose hair? No. In a marriage, the partners need to take care of themselves physically to sustain their relationship. As per that infamous scene in East is East when Om Puri is arranging a meeting with prospective brides for his sons? A prospective husband or wife should be a genuine, born-again Christian who is growing and maturing in the faith and who is obedient to Christ. Sajal Aly shooting for Jemima Goldsmith’s film in London? She admits that looks really do matter to her: “If I’m not repulsed by them in any way I’ll meet up with them later and get a feel for our dynamic. We have not to judge anyone by his or her look we have to judge someone by its work and we have to see his or her good deeds. By using Uptrennd, you agree to our Terms of Use, Privacy Policy, and Disclaimer. Does age difference in marriage really matter? It’s as if the question itself is strange. DESIblitz is a ® registered trade mark | Email:info@desiblitz.com. I know that I can only accomplish this through my relationship with Him. A quick swipe to the right within the first few seconds is enough to judge whether or not they find that person attractive without looking further into their profile. Having a Desi arranged marriage is a distinct part of the South Asian culture. So does the question ‘do looks matter?’ factor into the decision making? When it comes to a Desi arranged marriage, most people know the drill. Her motto is: ‘live for today what bothers you now won’t matter in a year’. ... You will look to AR Rehman while your husband swears the only music director worth listening to … “The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Looks do matter, though they should not be the only factor we are looking at … Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart" (1 Samuel 16:7). Which was the First Women’s Cricket Team to win Gold? If the husband treats his wife as a princess and makes her feel like a princess, the wife will look after her body as she feels loved and special and the husband will have a fit wife. But you guys, marriage is a partnership. If this were true, no less-than-attractive people would ever get married, and all older people would divorce once their looks faded. Thank your social media filters and unrealistic expectations of beauty perhaps, but there seems to be a tilt towards looks over personality, and it could become even more of a differentiator in the future. Most people will (or should) look beyond that when deciding to initia… Does this mean you have to be good looking to attract your spouse? The survey shows that, in Your husband should have eyes only for you and checking out other girls and especially commenting on their looks in your presence is never acceptable. The other most common answer that people gave us is that it has to be both personality and looks when it comes to an arranged marriage. They got on and have now been together 36 years, but not everybody gets this lucky. 2. The survey showed that it was in the first seven years of marriage that physical appearance really mattered but with passing years it gets influenced by other emotional factors like common interests, communication skills, etc, which help the relationship grow even if looks change. The taking of instant selfies or quick videos on almost every social media app and hitting send is so common that personality seems to be taking a back seat if there isn’t an instant attraction. The only solution is to always respect ourselves when we are faced with such challenges by acting normal and calm. This is the place to write your own fictional and non-fictional stories, including novels, biographies, short stories, etc. Her own parents suffered due to lack of attraction when their arranged marriage was set up: “My parents have been married unhappily for 22 years as my father has no attraction for my mother. Don’t keep separate accounts. Does Cheating Matter During a Divorce? Like Segal, Piper explains that outward, physical attraction is fleeting, and therefore one should look to inward beauty in their spouse if seeking a long-lasting, God-filled marriage. Looks matter, and sex is an important part of a healthy relationship. If someone is looking for beauty first with personality not even a close second, then they might not be mature enough to get married in the first place. Agape Love. The notion of respect cuts across both scientific and spiritual conceptions of marital intimacy. My parents are also doing the same. Not all are endowed with good looks. If your spouse gained 30 pounds (lower metabolism, less active), started balding (husband) or hair started thinning (woman), their skin became more rough or oily and they got more blackheads, got premature wrinkles and looked 5 years older than they were, they started to dress frumpily and let themselves go clotheswise, would you still love them still and stay married to them or … Neela says: “Physical attraction can go only so far if the two people concerned are completely opposite to each other in their beliefs and way of life.”. But that's exactly what it is—an ingredient. 2. , your big girl is fat and because of this girls go away by answering ۔Black color is given by Allah. They have completely lost the forest through the trees.. Being attracted to someone sexually happens for a variety of reasons. She took advantage of his widow status and caused havoc within a year after the marriage, having been granted a permanent visa. We explore whether looks do matter in over personality or not. How long will the girls continue to be the victims of this physical appearance? Many younger brides will marry older men, looks not factoring into the equation, so that they can get a visa into the UK. Rea has been in situations where she has gone to see a prospective boy arranged by family members. I am wondering when it will all end when People will not judge someone's physical appearance. Furthermore, it is expected that with age comes maturity, which isn't true. But there is no getting around the fact that sexual interest starts with finding someone attractive physically. Indian Boy aged 12 commits Suicide playing PUBG Game, Indian Girl kills Herself due to Affair with Two Boys, NHS Worker injected Herself & Daughter aged 2 with Drugs, Indian Lover dies after Wishing Girlfriend for 'Happy New Year', Hindi Medium film promises a Lesson of Relevance. Indeed, I think we should not blame anyone because these are old peoples who do this. luckybiatch replied and said: It’s important and I do agree with the above gURLS, however when I first met my boyfriend, I wasn’t necessarily physically attracted to him. I have been combating this desire to want more. The shell changes but the inside essentially remains the same. Figure out what it looks like in your marriage today, and nurture it! Traditional setups for a Desi arranged marriage are becoming increasingly less common. Many women face marital problems as they go out of shape after having children. Others have not been so lucky. Shallow as it sounds, the aspects of looks, even with an arranged marriage is much more of a factor than it used to be. He’s found that: “Girls do judge me for my looks, I’m a Sikh, with a full beard and turban so girls do judge based on that, as it may not be attractive to some women.”. Is Rishi Sunak's Wife Richer than the Queen? Anyone who is married will tell you that, although looks might bring a couple together in the beginning, it is the kindness and care they show for each other that keeps them together until the end. In that way, he is just belittling you and making you feel bad. Sadly, Meena’s situation as a British citizen being used for a passport by those back ‘home’ is not uncommon. The officiant said, “Two become one.” Separating the money and splitting the bills is a bad idea that only leads to more money and relationship problems down the road. I am 28 years old, finished engineering in India in electronics and telecommunications and Masters from US. Couples who had a traditional Desi arranged marriage from the ’70s and ’80s where their families were the decision makers were asked the question ‘did you consider looks?’ didn’t seem to garner much of a real response. "The kind of response that I have received for the trailer has been amazing", Sex Help: I am Having an Arranged Marriage But I'm not a Virgin, Indian Techie stages Own Abduction to avoid Arranged Marriage, Arranged Marriage and the First Night of Sex, Arranged Marriage and the Fifty Shades of Skin Colour. Speaking to Prakash, he didn’t quite understand and had never even considered it: “My father said he’d found my future wife, it wasn’t my place to question whether or not I was attracted to her as long as the families were compatible and happy.”. So looks might initially attract you but substance makes you stay. If you are interested to use our content, please contact one of the moderators. When you are presentable it has an indirect but very positive effect in your marriage. Put all of your money together and begin to look at it as a whole. Respect in marriage is one of the most important determinators of marital health and resilience. People are judging others based on profile pictures rather than personality. All fairly stereotypical, but nobody seems to describe the physical attributes they are looking for. When you are well groomed your spouse notices you. Must Read Stories of Arranged Marriage and Divorce, Kim A. Wagner’s ‘Amritsar 1919’ to be Made into a Film, 10 Famous Gujarati Authors who Wrote Amazing Books, Deepika Padukone’s ‘authentic smile’ on show at Athens airport, Indian Restaurant found to have hired Illegal Workers after Raid, US Indian Man shoots Daughter & Mother-in-Law, Amazon Delivery Man on Horseback in India goes Viral, Man raped Woman aged 19 in Alleyway & infected her with STI, Faryal Makhdoom calls Amir Khan’s music taste ‘Gay’. When will the helpless mothers stop begging for their daughters' relationship? Most, when asked, agree that it has to be a balance of both, but don’t admit that looks do matter a lot on first impressions. 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